FAMILY LIFE SOLUTIONS
Marriage Counseling | Couples Therapy | Discernment Counseling |
Thomas Mahan PhD, Naperville, IL
With a PhD in Couples Counseling, Dr. Mahan’s mindful approach to Marriage/Couples Therapy is informed by the latest science-based research in Marriage and Family Therapy, Neuroscience, and Family Systems Theory. Dr. Thomas blends his training, education and collaborative approach with a comprehensive knowledge of the most up-to-date research on intimate relationships, and what makes them work.
Longer Session Lengths 90 Mins
I do not follow models dictated by insurance companies (time limits have been proven to be ineffective by decades of research). I do something different — I do what I know works for my clients.
The traditional, 50-minute session is often ineffective in helping couples make significant, lasting changes to the negative dance they are in. I believe a 90-minute session is essential in order to give you ample time to reach those places where real and lasting change can occur. It is critical to reach those places where you are stuck during the session, as they inform you of your negative dance and provide the necessary experience to make changes to those behaviors between sessions. That rarely happens in 50 minutes.
I have often heard couples say, “I felt like we were finally getting somewhere” after previous, failed attempts with shorter counseling sessions.
Couples therapy, also known as marriage or relationship therapy, is a form of treatment that helps couples improve their relationship and address any issues they may be facing. Couples therapy can help couples to better understand and communicate with each other, resolve conflicts, improve intimacy, and rebuild trust.
During couples therapy, the therapist will provide a safe and non-judgmental space for the couple to talk about their concerns and feelings. The therapist will also work with the couple to identify patterns of behavior and communication that may be contributing to the problems in the relationship. Through therapy, couples can learn new skills and techniques for managing conflict, improving communication, and resolving issues.
Couples therapy can help couples of all types, whether they are dealing with minor conflicts or major problems, such as infidelity or trust issues. The therapy process can be short-term or long-term, depending on the severity of the issues and the progress made in therapy.
A thorough assessment is essential, it saves face-to-face time and minimizes errors. I spend a lot of time learning and studying the assessment and listening to you and your partner talk. I need the deep dive to understand where you’ve been, where you are now, and where you want to go, thereby creating a common language and a map together with you that will serve as our compass. Your Roadmap is unique to you and will serve as a constant reminder of the dangers along the way, providing clear direction and keeping us focused on your relationship goals. It will also provide landmarks to help us recognize and celebrate the relationship strengths and successes, providing hope and confidence along the journey.
I will unearth, harness, and show you how to use your strengths. You will be equipped for the journey with a greater understanding of what strengths and resources are unique to you. I make sure you have doable, impactful steps, creating a sense of confidence with each success. Hope comes from this sense of competence, believing your strengths are being put to use in a way that will bring about positive change to your relationship.
At the end of each session, I measure my client’s satisfaction with the path that we are on and the approach we are using, making sure goals are relevant to them, and that their relationship with me is solid. If any of those are off target, change is made immediately so that every session is successful.
Dr. Thomas Mahan
Family Life Solutions of Naperville, IL, led by Dr. Thomas Mahan, is a top-rated practice specializing in marriage therapy, couples counseling, and discernment counseling. Dr. Mahan’s approach is science-based and proven to be effective in helping couples and individuals navigate the complexities of relationships. With a focus on discernment counseling, Dr. Mahan helps his couples work through challenging issues and find solutions that lead to lasting change. Whether you are looking to strengthen your marriage, improve communication, or work through infidelity or if you’re considering divorce, Dr. Mahan and the team at Family Life Solutions can provide the support and guidance you need to create a better future for you and your loved ones.
THE FLS DIFFERENCE
Finding the right individual or couples therapist can be an incredibly nerve-wracking process, You’re stressed due to your relationship problems so you don’t want to add to that stress by worrying about what therapist to choose.
Unexpected Mood Swings
Stress & Anxiety
Someone to Talk To
Family Member Conflict
Job Loss or Change
Irregular Sleep Cycles
Isolation & Loneliness
My Approach & Values
“I’m a couples therapist, that’s all I do and that’s what differentiates me from my peers. My PhD is in couples counseling; a specialty that few clinicians have any training in.
I have longer sessions (90+ minutes) because it is more effective in helping couples experience how to make necessary shifts in their relationship. These shifts change the trajectory of their relationship at home, where it matters.
“I want to help you feel as comfortable as possible throughout this process. I will listen attentively to you because I understand and care about the things that are most important to you and your relationship.”
Dr. Thomas Mahan
Discernment counseling is a type of therapy that is designed to help couples who are on the brink of divorce or separation. It is a short-term, goal-oriented therapy that is intended to help couples make an informed decision about their relationship.
Discernment counseling is different from traditional couples therapy in that it is not focused on resolving problems or improving the relationship. Instead, it is designed to help couples understand their options, clarify their goals, and make a decision about their relationship. The couple may decide to stay together and work on their issues, separate, or move forward with divorce.
During discernment counseling, Dr Thomas will work with the couple to identify the reasons why the relationship is in trouble, and to explore the options available to them. The therapist will help the couple to understand the pros and cons of each option, and to make a decision that is in the best interest of both partners and any children involved. He will also work with the couple to identify any underlying issues that may be contributing to the problems in the relationship, such as communication breakdowns or lack of trust, and offer guidance to help couples to improve their relationship if they decide to stay together.
Discernment counseling is typically time-limited and can take between one to five sessions, depending on the complexity of the case.
Couples therapy is a growing field, it does work, but just not in the way that it is traditionally practiced today. An effective couples therapist has proven credentials and formal, specialized training, from a universally-recognized training institute. A traditional therapist will use a “commonsense” approach and it falls painfully short the majority of times.
Like many people in an intimate relationship, you may be feeling helpless, frustrated, and tired of arguing in circles. You may be asking yourself how it ever got this way.
Sometimes you may feel like giving up. You and your partner can probably still remember the early days of your relationship and how “in love” you were. Sometimes you wonder what happened and you ask questions of yourselves – and each other.
- Can you really resolve differences and restore your relationship?
- Can you live an authentic life in your relationship?
- Can the relationship be the catalyst for living a genuine life, a life well-lived?
You may be struggling with issues such as:
- constant arguments that are never resolved
- lack of emotional intimacy
- boring or non-existent sex
- feeling misunderstood by your partner
- feeling unsafe in an atmosphere of defensiveness, blame or criticism
- feeling like the laughter you once enjoyed together has disappeared
- feeling helpless or hopeless that anything will ever change
- one of you wants to restore the marriage, the other is leaning towards ending it
As a licensed marriage and family therapist, I have more than 15,000 hours working directly with couples — I know what it takes to resolve the most complicated relationship problems as well as what it takes to help you build a long-term successful relationship.
Can you go on? Are you facing some challenging relationship problems for the first time or what seems the one-millionth time? If you want to improve a good relationship that is struggling, I can help!
–HOPE by acquiring tools to make a lasting change right away. “
-PEACE by breaking out of conflict that gets gridlocked and feels hopeless. I’ll show you how to keep discussions calm and effective.”
–SAFETY by showing you how to have healing conversations about past hurts without blaming or criticizing yourself or your partner.”
–INTIMACY and love by helping you cultivate attitudes and interactions that make you and your partner feel loved and understood.”
–CONNECTION by helping you both learn how to meet one another’s needs without compromising your own.”
–SEX LIFE by showing you how to increase a natural sense of desire for your partner that is infused with playfulness, joy and excitement.”
–LONGEVITY to your relationship by equipping you with proven principles and practices necessary for enduring security and commitment so you create an authentic and satisfying life and relationship.
Here’s where I excel and what you can expect:
- Acquire tools to make lasting change right away
- Break out of conflict that gets gridlocked and feels hopelessKeep discussions calm and effective
- Healing conversations about past hurts, without blaming or criticizing yourself or your partner
- Cultivate attitudes and interactions that make you and your partner feel loved and understood
- Learn how to meet one another’s needs without compromising your own
- Restore your sex life by showing you how to increase a natural sense of desire for your partner that is infused with playfulness, joy, and excitement
- Restore longevity to your relationship by equipping you with proven principles and practices necessary for enduring security and commitment
Dr. Mahan is patient, non-judgmental and forthright, which made it easy for me to speak my mind. I always felt heard, and never rushed. During a session, Dr. Mahan never got bogged down in the details of a specific incident, but rather encouraged us to find the root of the problem and move forward from there; this is a skill that continues to help me today. I highly recommend Dr. Mahan for couples or individual therapy. Dr. Mahan is an excellent neutral mediator and seems to genuinely care about his clients
Brad: Age 27
We had been going to marriage therapy for 10 years, but it wasn’t until we met Dr. Mahan (our 4th therapist) that I finally felt significant movement in our relationship. With Dr. Mahan’s coaching approach and individual counseling sessions, I am finally feeling forward progress! In the past, old patterns resurfaced as soon as we would get home from therapy sessions. With the couple’s coaching model, Dr. Mahan checks in on us between sessions and provides specific feedback for challenges we experience in real time. It has been such a relief knowing I have him “in my back pocket” as situations come up.
Jane – Mother: Age 36
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